My Wife and Kids - Season 3

Part 1 of three. The Kyles go to Hawaii for a family vacation, although Michael would prefer it to be a second honeymoon. But Jay has "a full itinerary" planned, and it doesn't include honeymoon activities. At least he's bumped up to first class on the flight out, and he's surrounded by lingerie models.

Part 2 of three. The kids revolt at Jay's Hawaiian "itinerary," so it's back to the beach, where Michael happens to be girl-watching. But when he sees Claire in a skimpy bikini, he's not exactly ogling. Meanwhile, Jr. has donned his "tropical seduction suit," and it seems to be working on a girl named Leilani. Of course, he also tells her that his dad is Denzel Washington.

The Kyles' relaxing Hawaiian vacation concludes in a rush: Jay misreads the time on the plane tickets and there's no time to pack. That presents a particular problem for Claire, who bought so many clothes and charged them to their room. Michael won't like that when he gets the bill. Meanwhile, Jr. doesn't want to leave because he's in love with Leilani, and Kady won't leave without her doll Pippy, which she buried on the beach.

Jay's getting tired of the same-old same-old on her nights out with Michael, so she browbeats him into taking samba lessons. Making matters worse for him, the instructor---Mr. Roccocco---is a little friendlier to Jay than he would like. Meanwhile, Claire makes the cheerleading team, and Jr. wants to add his name to the "Guinness Book of World Records."

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary. Of course she reads it, and that leads to a mother-daughter talk about sex. Meanwhile, Jr. takes an unofficial driving test when he takes Michael to an eye-doctor appointment. And all Kady wants to do is play hide-and-seek.

Michael decides he likes Claire's straitlaced boyfriend, Tony, so naturally Claire dumps him for a hip-hop swaggerer who calls himself 1040 EZ ("'Cause I be taxin' my women"). Michael is anything but pleased. Nor is Jay pleased when she sees the portrait of her that Jr. has drawn.

Tennis star Serena Williams guests as a teacher in an episode in which Jay volunteers to direct Kady's kindergarten-class play ("Romeo and Juliet"), and volunteers Michael to help her. But Jay, who has a very competitive side, doesn't want anyone to stand in the way of her "vision." And she treats her charges as though they were army recruits and she was a drill sergeant.

Claire and Jr. are continually fighting, to the annoyance of Jay and Michael, who decide to give them "a taste of their own medicine." They'll pretend to fight with each other. "If we can't beat them---and the law says we can't--- the only thing left to do is join them," Michael says.

Michael's younger sister, Kelly, drops in for an unexpected visit. Trouble is, Jay can't stand her, and Kelly does nothing during her stay to change Jay's mind.

Jr.'s awkward around girls, so Michael coaches him in the manly art of attracting women. He learns his lesson only too well. Meanwhile, Jay's mad at Michael because she dreamt that he had been fooling around with Janet Jackson.

Steve Harvey guest stars in an episode in which Michael encourages Jay and the kids to tap their creative juices. Jay decides to paint, Claire to design clothes and Kady to play the piano. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with his old friend Steve (Harvey), who has recently divorced and is playing the field. One of his dates owns an art gallery, where Jay's painting ends up.

Mos Def guests as Michael's old friend Tommy, who arrives for a visit with a surprise: he's in a wheelchair after having fallen from his roof while painting. Michael has difficulty accepting his friend's disability, and that annoys the very-competitive Tommy no end. Meanwhile, Claire doesn't want to take Kady with her when she goes to the mall, but her parents insist.

Michael and Jay attend a couples seminar, where they discover that their "fantastic" relationship isn't exactly that. Meanwhile, two of Jr.'s friends (Damon Wayans Jr., Michael Wayans) discover a way to use Claire's clothing-store job to make money for themselves.

Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and "the new Tony" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a "rave."

Michael, bemoaning the lack of quality time the Kyles spend with each other, decides to spend some time with the kids, whether they like it or not. Claire and Jr. don't, and Kady agrees only to watch the movie "The Little Mermaid" with him. Michael switches it with "Gremlins," and that scares her. So does the power failure that soon follows (she thinks the two are related). But it least the blackout brings the Kyles together.

Jay nominates Michael for the "Small Businessman of the Year" award and he assumes he's going to win it (especially after a golfing buddy on the organization's board tells him: "If my vote were the only one that counted, you'd be a shoo-in"). Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often.

Part 1 of two. Jr. has a new girlfriend and Michael thinks she's quite a prize. But Jay has her doubts. Meanwhile, Kady has a gentleman caller, a budding piano prodigy named Franklin (Noah Gray-Cabey).

Conclusion: Michael throws Jr. out of the house after he and Jay find their son in their bed with his girlfriend. Jay disagrees---strenuously---about the punishment, and the Kyle household is not a happy one. As for Jr., he has been banished to a tent in the backyard.

Michael and Jay are both called for jury duty and wind up on the same case. It's "open and shut," Michael declares. Jay demurs, not surprisingly. And she suspects Michael's motives because she knows he wants to get home to watch a "Godfather" marathon on TV.

Claire and Jr. have been fighting all their lives, but when both claim to have found a wallet with $500 (and no I.D.) in it, it's time for "family court," the honorable ("and very handsome") Judge Michael Kyle presiding. Jay agrees to serve as Claire's lawyer while Kady's genius boyfriend Franklin argues for Jr. Meanwhile, Claire decides to become a vegetarian, prompted by her boyfriend, Tony, who has begun to fast. And Michael volunteers to teach Kady to ride a bicycle.

Claire gets her learner's permit, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Michael will permit her to drive. But he does relent and takes her out for a driving lesson. It doesn't go well. ("Michael: "What's the first thing you do when you get into the car?" Claire: "Find a good radio station.") Meanwhile, Kady and Franklin announce their engagement.

Franklin's little sister, Aretha, is a terrific singer, but he doesn't exactly brag about her. Meanwhile, Jay finds a photo of Michael's former girlfriend among his memorabilia. Why, she wonders, has he saved it? Actually, "wonders" doesn't adequately describe her reaction. "We have a crisis in our marriage," she fumes.

Jay decides she wants to share Michael's golf experience. She doesn't want to play---just follow him around the course. Meanwhile, Jr. decides he wants to go to college (because Vanessa's going), but he's stuck on the college-application essay. So he asks Franklin for help.

Claire and Tony announce that they are going to have sex to Michael and Jay, who react as expected. But after calming down they strategize on how to stop the impending tryst. "We'll scare the pants off them," Michael tells Jay, "Well, not the pants." Meanwhile, Jr. gets Kady to think that she made him sick, so she's at his beck and call. But Franklin smells a rat.

Claire has been asked to the senior prom, but Michael won't let her go. Their compromise: Michael and Jay will chaperone. Suffice it to say that Jay thinks more of the plan than Claire does (or than Michael does, at first). Meanwhile, Jr's rehabbing an old car and he wants Michael to pay for it. Michael agrees, but that isn't necessarily good news for Jr.

Part 1 of 2: Jr.'s high-school graduation is approaching and he drops a bombshell: He wants to go to college. Perhaps not surprisingly, it's the same one that his girlfriend Vanessa plans to attend. Trouble is, it's hard to get into, but Michael thinks he knows how to deal with that. Meanwhile, Claire and Kady can't wait to get rid of their older brother, and neither can Franklin.

Conclusion. Michael and Jay take a dim view of Jr. and Vanessa's plan to marry after graduation from high school, and push for him to take a trip to Japan without her. Meanwhile (and curiously), both Claire and Kady come to realize that they would miss Jr. if he were to leave.