Episode 701 (Moline, IL)

1. United States Championship The Miz vs. Evan Bourne 2. Sheamus vs. Jamie Noble 3. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston 4. Six Man Tag Team Match Randy Orton and The Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, and Montel Vontavious Porter 5. Six Diva Number One Contender's Battle Royal Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres 6. Triple Threat Match John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show Full Recap Tonight's guest hosts Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne are in the ring. Sharon reminds us that Ozzy was at Wrestlemania 2 and performed on Smackdown. Then The Miz comes down, and Sharon is an annoying bitch, Miz wants a them to erase the results of last week's match. Then Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase come down and they want revenge against Kofi Kingston. Then The Big Show comes down and he wants the entire roster to come down and apologize for attacking him last week. Which then brings down DX to push Ozzy's book and their book, and they're going to give everyone what they want. H whispers in Ozzy's ear and so Miz with face Evan "Bruan" for the US title. Shawn tells Cody & Ted they'll get what they want and Shawn whispers in stupid Sharon's ear and we get Kobe Kingston vs Randy Orton. Show decides he doesn't want an apology, so instead he wants the triple threat match for Survivor Series tonight and whispers in Ozzy's ear, and H does to and we get John Cena vs Chris Jericho vs The Big Show. Match #1 for the United States Championship: Evan Bourne vs The Miz. Miz pins Bourne. Josh Matthews interviews Sheamus. Match #2: Jamie Noble vs Sheamus. Referees stopped the match. Josh Matthews interviews Kofi Kingston. (or possibly Kofi Johnston, Kobe Kingston) Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs Randy Orton. Cody & Ted come down to try and jump Kofi, so Ozzy & Sharon change the match. Match #3a: Kofi Kingston, MVP & Mark Henry vs Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase. Henry pins Rhodes. Ozzy & Sharon are back in the ring for a "talent" competition. And the third judge? Great Khali. Santino Marella comes out dressed as Ozzy. Chris Masters and his dancing pecs, Chavo & Jillian come out to butcher Ozzy & Lita Ford's song Close My Eyes Forever. Ozzy & Sharon hate it, Jillian comes down to complain and Sharon slaps Jillian. Then Khali & Hornswoggle beat up Chavo. Match #4: Diva Battle Royal for the #1 Contender: Kelly Kelly vs, Bella Twins, vs Gail Kim vs Eve vs Alicia Fox. Alicia wins. Chris Jericho complains to Ozzy. DX yells at Hornswoggle. John Cena comes to save him. Match #5: John Cena vs Chris Jericho vs The Big Show. DX was at ringside for commentary. Jericho pins Cena.