The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5

Season 5
Episodes

Coast to Coast Big Mouth
Laura accidentally reveals a secret about Alan Brady on a national TV program.

A Farewell to Writing
Rob finds out trying to write a novel all by himself is a bit harder than he thinks.

Uhny Uftz
Rob starts hearing a strange noise but no one will believe him, then he sees what appears to be a flying saucer.

The Ugliest Dog in the World
The producers use a dog from a pound in a comedy sketch, and once the dog's work is done, Rob tries to find the ugly canine a new home.

No Rice at My Wedding
A news article prompts Rob and Laura to recall the extremely handsome Clark Rice, who won Laura in an Army raffle and almost derailed Rob and Laura's relationship.

Draw Me a Pear
Laura talks Rob into going to her art class, but the art teacher seems to like Rob a little too much.

The Great Petrie Fortune
Rob inherits an old roll top desk from his late great uncle Hezekiah that contains wealth of some sort hinted at in a song.

Odd But True
When Freddie Helper connects the freckles on Rob's back with his marker, an interesting picture appears, one that others feel Rob should make publicly known.

Viva Petrie
The Petries wonder if they're being duped when former maid Maria sends her matador boyfriend to work for them. His personality doesn't seem that of the bullfighter he claims to be.

Go Tell the Birds and the Bees
When school officials hear about Ritchie's version of the birds and the bees, Rob and Laura are forced to meet with the school's psychologist.

Body and Sol
In a story told mostly as a flashback, Rob recalls his days as "Pitter Patter Petrie", the middleweight champion of Camp Crowder, Missouri, during his Army days. He also recounts how his then fiancée Laura was deeply worried about Rob's defense of his title against a well regarded challenger, even going so far as to suggest that Rob "take a dive."

See Rob Write, Write Rob Write
Rob and Laura clash over which of them is the better writer of a children's story.

You're Under Arrest
Police question Rob regarding a fracas in a bar room where a woman was injured. Rob finds himself in a jam when his accounting of his whereabouts during the fight doesn't hold water.

Fifty-Two, Forty-Five or Work
In a flashback episode, The Alan Brady Show goes on summer hiatus and Rob is worried how he'll support Laura (who is pregnant with Ritchie).

Who Stole My Watch
Laura gives Rob an expensive watch at a birthday party attended by several family friends, but when the watch goes missing shortly after the party, Rob reluctantly concludes that one of his close friends may be a thief.

I Do Not Choose to Run (1)
New Rochelle politicians approach Rob to be their next city councilman. Flattered, Rob considers it but soon finds his life under their complete management.

The Making of a Councilman (2)
As election day approaches, Rob finds his political rival extremely knowledgeable, well prepared and well suited for the job of councilman. Rob's strengths: a winning smile and physical height.

The Curse of the Petrie People
Laura accidentally drops a recently bestowed Petrie family heirloom (as ugly as it is priceless) down the garbage disposal and tries to cover up the mishap before anyone notices.

The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart
After Alan Brady blows up and fires Mel, the gang works to get his job back, even Buddy.

Remember the Alimony
In another flashback episode, Rob and Laura take a romantic trip across the border to Mexico only to find out that the hotel they are staying in is where couples go to get divorced.

Dear Sally Rogers
For a laugh, Sally advertises for a husband on national television. Among the numerous humorous responses, one serious reply stands out.

Buddy Sorrell Man and Boy
When Buddy keeps making excuses to leave the office early, Rob and Sally think he may be cheating on his wife.. but they are wrong.

Bad Reception in Albany
While Rob and Laura are attending a wedding in Albany, Rob is asked by Alan to watch a fashion show to assess a possible guest star - but finding a TV proves to be difficult.

Talk to the Snail
When Rob, Sally and Buddy have to dig through building trash containers for a lost script, Rob finds a network memo to Alan Brady saying he must fire one writer. Rather than be split up, they seek a new gig together.

A Day in the Life of Alan Brady
A film crew takes over the Petrie house during Mille and Jerry's wedding anniversary party for an Alan Brady documentary that aims to show the megalomaniac's "human" side.

Obnoxious, Offensive Egomaniac Etc.
In a hurry to go to the theatre, Rob, Buddy and Sally forget to cross out all the insults about Alan they wrote in this week's script.

The Man from My Uncle
Having G-men use their house to stakeout a neighbor brings out the little boy in Rob, who eagerly wants to insinuate himself in the spy game.

You Ought to Be in Pictures
Rob gets an opportunity to do a featured part in a movie, kissing a stunningly attractive woman - while Laura watches.

Love Thy Other Neighbor
After Laura and Rob spend some time with their new neighbors, Jerry and Millie feel left out.

Long Nights Journey Into Day
For the Petrie-Helper fishing trip, a cold sidelines Laura. Home alone, every little bump in the night raises fearful eyebrows. Millie's return to keep her company makes things worse.

The Gunslinger
While anesthetized in Jerry's dentist's chair for a tooth extraction, Rob dreams he's a sheriff in the Old West and has a showdown with Big Bad Brady.

The Last Chapter
Rob finally finishes his memoir after 5 years. As Laura begins to read it, we see flashbacks from previous shows, starting from when Rob met Laura.
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